Hermione Granger

With my love of Harry Potter, it is no surprise that I have a post pertaining to the Harry Potter series. This series literally changed my life. I remember the first book came out when I was in first grade and I immediately saw myself in Hermione Granger. For those who might not be familiar with this fantastic series, Hermione is a brunette, frizzy haired, scholastic genius. I have always enjoyed learning, have been frizzy haired, and have always been brunette. I loved finding a kindred spirit, even if it was in a fictional series. With her to aspire to, I pursued an academic career. This academic career was not quite as big dollar or as fancy of an education as Emma Watson accomplished, but it was one that a farm girl from the middle of nowhere could accomplish. I've always been encouraged to accomplish my goals, which is interesting considering the stigma that people have about small towns. I never once had a high school teacher tell me that I couldn't accomplish something just because I am female. I thought that feminism was stupid because I was treated as an equal in my small town. If I ever fell short it wasn't because I was a girl, it was because I a) hadn't put the time in, b) hadn't quite figured it out yet, or c) hadn't worked hard enough. I am so grateful to my childhood for providing that. My father didn't go easy on me just because I was a girl and I learned powerful life lessons from that. So why am I no longer content with how I am treated?

My frustration with my gender didn't happen until this year. Although the composition of males to females in my science based field is about equal, I know that a few of my peers don't see me as such. Their "jokes" have hurt. Joking about the only way I, as a female, could ever accomplish an A on an exam is to sleep with the professor is not funny to me. However, when I voice my opinion I become a "typical female" and "why do you have to be so defensive." The reason this frustrates me, even though it is a "joke", is not just because my abilities have been belittled, but I am in the wrong for standing up for myself. What. On. Earth. I feel like I might as well be called a Mudblood. I can't change my combination of X chromosomes, but you ridicule me over a genetic code that I have no control over. After multiple (as in this is not a one time event) offenses of being ridiculed in my academic studies, I can understand why women dumb themselves down. The hurt I felt from those comments was discouraging, but lit a fire inside of me. I have never taken a woman studies class. I have never considered myself a feminist, but as long as we are belittling each other like this there will be feminist. I don't consider myself as above a man and I never will. I don't demand legislative changes. I'm asking for a more authentic change. I don't want men to be legislated into respecting my academic abilities, my body, my agency to choose, or any other type of legislation out there. I want them to respect me because they have heard me and seen me for who I am. I feel this goes the other way as well, although I don't know because I am not male. I think that we as women should also stand up for men not because of legislation, but because of a deep respect for each other.

That is why I have chosen to voice my opinion on this. I can't ask for respect if I never voice that I desire respect. I don't want the undeserved kind of respect, but just the basic human decency of being treated like what I accomplish is important and has been achieved through my own efforts and not by dumbing myself down. Which my childhood fictional hero, Hermione Granger, definitely understood.

The difference of an X chromosome

WARNING! Some of you will disagree strongly with what I have to say. Know that that is ok and we can still be friends! :)
I've spent a possibly abnormal amount of time dwelling on this subject, to the point where I desire to write about it. It stems from a list of things that have occurred recently that I consider insulting to who I am as a woman. As a woman, I like cars. I like motorcycles. I'm in a field of study that some consider to be a "man's world" because I could never be happy in an environment where I didn't get dirty and sunburned. I don't think I'm always right. In fact, I normally explore every avenue of how I am wrong before I can see the parts that I was right in. I view my husband as an equal and he has supported my view of him being an equal through his actions. Do I cry? Most definitely. Do I laugh with robust joy? Certainly. Why do these feelings have to be attributed to the monthly cycle that a single X chromosome ensured I would have for the entirety of my reproductive years? As far as I can recall, my fiercest emotions have been completely unconnected from that physical aspect of being a woman.

I have cried in sorrow as I've watched those I love pass away. I have laughed until my ribs hurt because of my husband and brother-in-law bantering back and forth. I don't think these emotions are entitled to womanhood. I think they are a part of being human in general. It is human to feel. Turning this around. I have seen my husband cry tears of sorrow at the passing of people he loves. I have seen my husband laugh hysterically at the sound of a minion farting ringtone. I can't imagine anyone belittling my husband for his feelings and I hope that I wouldn't be belittled for mine.

The difference of an X chromosome. Some women use that difference as a sense of entitlement. Using it to belittle the parental contribution that men play. Using their sexual endowments as a power play.

Am I the only one confused by these conflicting messages?

I'm expected "to be the pants in the relationship". To devalue my husband's contribution to my family because we all know "that the man might be the head of the family, but the wife is the neck who turns the head." Simultaneously porn culture has instilled a belittled view of me as a woman by insinuating that women secretly enjoy being raped and sexually dominated. At the same time that I am suppose to be dominating, I am suppose to be submissive to the sexual pleasures of another. (View statistics at Fight the New Drug)

I'm not saying that men don't also suffer from stereotypes. Because there is nothing that could be further from the truth. Men aren't suppose to show emotion. They're discredited when they experience sexually abusive experiences. They're suppose to have the six-pack and biceps just like women are expected to have the boobs and butt.

This isn't a pity party for women by any means. Just a list of my frustrations. And the plea of my heart.
I want a world where I can be taken at face value. Where my emotions, my education, and my work ethic can be seen for what they are and not a way to fill a diversity quota. And I don't just want this for me, but for everyone. I don't want anyone to cushion the cycle of success and failure for me just because of genetic code that I had no ability to control. I want to be seen as me.

Because of my interests everything from my sexual orientation to my sex itself has been questioned by others. I am a woman. And I say that with feelings of deep connection to some of the strongest and most noble people I know. Being a woman is a noble and great thing. However, I don't need to enjoy crafts, fashion, and makeup in order to be a woman. (And even though those things aren't my interests, there's nothing wrong with woman that are interested in those. I actually admire woman who have these interests.) I just want to emphasize that our interests do not define our gender. There is nothing wrong with a male who has a nurturing personality and enjoys crochet. There is nothing wrong with being who we are as individuals and not as who we are told we should be by societal messages.

This rant is officially over. I'm always up for hearing other opinions and clarifying questions.