WARNING! Some of you will disagree strongly with what I have to say. Know that that is ok and we can still be friends! :)
I've spent a possibly abnormal amount of time dwelling on this subject, to the point where I desire to write about it. It stems from a list of things that have occurred recently that I consider insulting to who I am as a woman. As a woman, I like cars. I like motorcycles. I'm in a field of study that some consider to be a "man's world" because I could never be happy in an environment where I didn't get dirty and sunburned. I don't think I'm always right. In fact, I normally explore every avenue of how I am wrong before I can see the parts that I was right in. I view my husband as an equal and he has supported my view of him being an equal through his actions. Do I cry? Most definitely. Do I laugh with robust joy? Certainly. Why do these feelings have to be attributed to the monthly cycle that a single X chromosome ensured I would have for the entirety of my reproductive years? As far as I can recall, my fiercest emotions have been completely unconnected from that physical aspect of being a woman.
I have cried in sorrow as I've watched those I love pass away. I have laughed until my ribs hurt because of my husband and brother-in-law bantering back and forth. I don't think these emotions are entitled to womanhood. I think they are a part of being human in general. It is human to feel. Turning this around. I have seen my husband cry tears of sorrow at the passing of people he loves. I have seen my husband laugh hysterically at the sound of a minion farting ringtone. I can't imagine anyone belittling my husband for his feelings and I hope that I wouldn't be belittled for mine.
The difference of an X chromosome. Some women use that difference as a sense of entitlement. Using it to belittle the parental contribution that men play. Using their sexual endowments as a power play.
Am I the only one confused by these conflicting messages?
I'm expected "to be the pants in the relationship". To devalue my husband's contribution to my family because we all know "that the man might be the head of the family, but the wife is the neck who turns the head." Simultaneously porn culture has instilled a belittled view of me as a woman by insinuating that women secretly enjoy being raped and sexually dominated. At the same time that I am suppose to be dominating, I am suppose to be submissive to the sexual pleasures of another. (View statistics at Fight the New Drug)
I'm not saying that men don't also suffer from stereotypes. Because there is nothing that could be further from the truth. Men aren't suppose to show emotion. They're discredited when they experience sexually abusive experiences. They're suppose to have the six-pack and biceps just like women are expected to have the boobs and butt.
This isn't a pity party for women by any means. Just a list of my frustrations. And the plea of my heart.
I want a world where I can be taken at face value. Where my emotions, my education, and my work ethic can be seen for what they are and not a way to fill a diversity quota. And I don't just want this for me, but for everyone. I don't want anyone to cushion the cycle of success and failure for me just because of genetic code that I had no ability to control. I want to be seen as me.
Because of my interests everything from my sexual orientation to my sex itself has been questioned by others. I am a woman. And I say that with feelings of deep connection to some of the strongest and most noble people I know. Being a woman is a noble and great thing. However, I don't need to enjoy crafts, fashion, and makeup in order to be a woman. (And even though those things aren't my interests, there's nothing wrong with woman that are interested in those. I actually admire woman who have these interests.) I just want to emphasize that our interests do not define our gender. There is nothing wrong with a male who has a nurturing personality and enjoys crochet. There is nothing wrong with being who we are as individuals and not as who we are told we should be by societal messages.
This rant is officially over. I'm always up for hearing other opinions and clarifying questions.
